How to manifest love in 4 simple soulmate-attracting steps
If you ever felt lonely or unloved, always remember: Love is everywhere. Learn how to manifest love to bring it into you life. In this article, you’ll learn our 4 simple but proven steps to attracting love.
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Maybe you’ve read The Secret, know all about the law of attraction. Perhaps you’ve created vision boards or written out self love affirmations like “I deserve love” a hundred times a day. You’ve tried it all, and yet still you find yourself single.
Like so many others, you might be wondering where you went wrong. Why is it that despite all your efforts, you just can’t seem to attract the love you want?
I’m here to tell you that it’s not you. You’re haven’t been doing anything wrong. You haven’t failed.
With so many books, articles, videos and courses on the topic, there is a lot of misleading information out there which can leave you feeling disheartened, believing that manifestation doesn’t work, or worse, that something you did or said created what you don’t want.
That when things don’t work out it’s all your fault. You may end up with feelings of self-blame and hopelessness.
This is not what manifestation is about. It’s so much more than dreaming up a wish list and getting what’s on it. When you know how manifestation really works, and realise that you are not in this alone, that there is a far more powerful force at play, you will begin to see true magic unfold. Even just letting go of the self-blame will immediately bring you closer to the love you want.
Below are the four secrets behind how manifesting really works. It was after I understood and embraced these steps that I found the love I’d been waiting for, different from anything I’d experienced before, or from what I’d expected. And, I believe, the love truly meant for me.
1. Change the way you feel inside
Ask yourself: Why do you want to manifest love? Why do you want a relationship? Or why are you trying to figure out how to manifest love with a specific person? Maybe you would like someone to share your life with, to start a family or travel the world together.
For every reason you come up with, keep on asking Why? or What for? until you can’t answer anymore, and see what arises.
Most likely the answers you reach will describe some kind of state, which you imagine love will bring. States like joy, fulfilment, satisfaction, security, comfort, excitement, acceptance, pleasure.
Most of us want to manifest love because of how being loved by someone, and loving them, makes us feel. This is key to learning how to manifest love. It is all about the way you feel.
And here’s another big secret. You don’t have to wait for your soulmate to come. You can have the feeling that love brings right now. The trick is to begin at the end. To live and feel as if you have already manifested your dream partner.
One of the most powerful ways to do this is to use your imagination. Imagination is what gives us the ability to create. Everything ever created began in someone’s imagination. This is why Einstein said imagination is more important than knowledge.
Even in the most challenging situations, you can always use your imagination to hope, to dream of a different outcome, of a better future. This is how people have got through some of the worst hardships.
Lie or sit comfortably, close your eyes and take a few deep breaths from your stomach, exhaling through your mouth. Imagine your body filling with warm, healing, golden light. Imagine feeling strong, energized, free from any worries or pain. You are perfectly at ease.
Picture yourself in a place you love, and conjure up the most pleasurable sensations you can think of. The scent of your favorite flower, sun on your skin, tastes, sounds, memories. Feel yourself filling up with joy and contentment.
Then, visualize your dream partner, whether this is an ideal or a specific person. Send this person the contentment and wellbeing you have just generated.
How did you feel after doing this exercise? Calm, fulfilled, loving? This is the first, and most important step, to manifesting love. And the best part of this exercise is that you can do it anytime and access these feelings whenever you want.
This is the magic of changing your state: you get what you want straight away. You can have it all right now: the joy, security, contentment. You don’t have to wait.
As Dr Wayne Dyer writes in Wishes Fulfilled: Mastering the Art of Manifesting:
“You have the power to take a thought that’s in your imagination, live from that place in your daily life and then experience in your body exactly how that feels and stay with this feeling.”
This is not the same as fantasizing or visualizing – it goes deeper than that. This is about reaching that place of love, inspiration and joy in the moment, which is all we ever have. And which is always within you, if you choose to tap into it.
The secret is not to focus on getting or achieving, but rather on reaching a pleasurable state which you experience in your body, and which is coming from within.
This is very important. Because when the images or dreams you place in your mind are accompanied by a sensation, what results is manifestation.
Without that sensation, anything you imagine or say is superficial and doesn’t penetrate. For example, you have to feel the sensation of strength in your body rather than just say or think “I am strong”. You can say the words a thousand times but if your sensation is weak, tired, and doubtful, you’re not going to believe these words or see them manifest into strength.
As Dr. Dyer says:
“When you feel the feeling of love in your body directed at what you place in your imagination and an idea, then you activate the subconscious mind which takes action and expresses. … You don’t attract or manifest what you WANT, you attract what you ARE.”
2. Offer up your dreams and make space for love
In the visualization exercise above you did what is known as loving-kindness. This is a great practice to do every day. Send love and wellbeing to yourself, loved ones and your dream partner – whether a specific person or someone you’ve never met.
Giving, or offering, is something you can always control. No matter what your circumstances, you can always send out love.
Acts of love are also the most effective and powerful way of manifesting what you want. In her book The Game of Life and How to Play It, Florence Scovell Shinn writes,
“You can never receive what you have never given. Give perfect love and you will receive a perfect love.”
When you hold on to things – your desires, wants, resentments, doubts – this causes a block which stops what needs to come from coming. When you offer, you are handing something over, and in this way you create space to allow love and abundance to come in.
In Outrageous Openness: Letting Diving Take the Lead, Tosha Silver teaches how letting go is really the ultimate secret to manifesting. She talks about a word from the yoga sutras, aparigraha, which means non-grasping.
The idea is that when you stop holding on to things, you open yourself up to allow more to come. Imagine a feather floating in the air. If you try to snatch it, to close your fist around it, you create an air current that pushes it away, further out of reach. However, if you simply stay still and let your hand rest open, it will naturally fall and land in your palm.
As you begin to shift your focus from doing and having and getting towards being a clear channel through which love can flow freely, everything starts to change.
There are several exercises you can to do help clear space for the love that wants to come:
You can throw out old letters and gifts and delete emails from your ex. You can say a prayer of closure, and send out blessings. This is not to condone any mistreatment or abuse, but to release you from the bond of non-forgiveness which can leave you stuck and repeating the same experiences.
Another way to make space is to do cord-cutting exercises, where you cut emotional ties to people that might be affecting your ability to manifest love, because you are still energetically linked to them. These could be exes or other people in your life whose ideas about love and relationships you have internalized.
The idea is to clear out everything that’s holding you back, keeping you blocked or stuck in the past, so that you are open to receive the love you deserve.
3. “Let your desires melt to preferences” ~ Tosha Silver
The only way to get what you want is to not want anything. This is one of the central paradoxes, and truths, of life.
You might think this sounds like a level of detachment only the most advance yogis or the Dalai Lama can attain. But it’s not as impossible as it sounds. Being human is to have needs and desires. It’s natural to want to find a loving partner, to want to love and be loved, or maybe you really want to know how to manifest love with a specific person.
What causes dissatisfaction isn’t not getting what we want. It’s not getting exactly what we think we want. In other words, it is our fixed ideas and expectations that get in the way. And the belief that we alone create our reality.
Sometimes we forget that we’re only human, that there’s only so much we can understand or conceive with our limited brains. We are also not separate beings creating our reality in a vacuum. There is a higher Source that we are co-creating with. And when we align with this Source, meeting it halfway, we get to access everything it has in in store for us.
Our part of the bargain is to raise our vibration, send out our hopes and desires, and then, leave the rest to Source to resolve for our highest good.
When we hold on to specific, human-imagined outcomes, this is what causes us pain. Wanting and longing for what we think we don’t have. Instead, we can enjoy the process of dreaming and raising our state, knowing that our ideal relationship has already been selected for us by Source, and once we have aligned ourselves, we will be guided to it. We can ask to be directed, and Source will begin revealing signs, symbols and intuition to show us the way.
Again, this is not about things or people materializing precisely as we pictured them. How could there be any magic in life if we were able to pre-imagine everything?
Instead, we can let our desires become preferences, or guidelines, knowing that what actually comes will be beyond our imagination. As Adyanshanti says,
“What the universe will manifest when you are in alignment with it is a lot more interesting than what you try to manifest.”
4. Surrender and trust in the Universe
The more you start to trust in the Source from which all things come, the more you believe that everything is always working out for your highest good, the less you are limited by what your limited, human mind thinks is possible, and the more you are open to receiving miracles.
Don’t worry about how to manifest love fast. Once your vibration is raised and you have placed your trust in the universe, it can happen in an instant. In the words of Saint Teresa of Avila:
“With patience all things are possible.”
Remember: Love is here, now. You need only align yourself with it, trust in the universe and let go.